I have been writing this book since I was fourteen. It has actually had five different plots, thirteen rewrites, and has single-handedly kept me from achieving closure with anything in my life ever. I can't finish it. I can't even get beyond page 60. DAMMIT! Oh, well....

The Old Plot
The original plot was about a group of schoolkids who decided to plan a student revolution because they hated homework and sarcastic maths teachers, and so was born the Nazi Teapot, a group who were anti-authority, anti-anti-authority, and anti-Marmite (except for Alan, who rather liked it). Save for a few humorous moments (schoolkids shooting down an army helicopter with fireworks, and the surreal notion of using the boiler house of the school to house a highly experimental fusion generator that would generate a bubble of antigravity...) this version was very poor indeed.

The New Plot
Well, this time round, it actually has one. One of the main characters, Jimmy MacBibble, is possessed by a demon who turns out to be an ancient Persian god of darkness, and we discover a whole tangled web of neo-Nazi devil worshippers, ancient Persian urns that look like Nazi teapots, and pork madras.

One day this may be finished, but I doubt it.