Snail Spitting
Tricia was walking down to the bus stop watching two grown women standing in the middle of the path. She had to push Cordy's pushchair around them, and as she passed, she looked to see what they were both doing. There was a snail on the pavement, and both were looking down at the snail and taking it in turns to dribble spittle on it. "Oh look, it's going back in its shell!" one was heard to whine...

Edjercashun? Whassat?
I was on a bus back home and overheard this snippet of conversation from a pair of 40-something women at the back..."My eldest wanted to go off to college, but I soon talked him out of that rubbish. I told (pronounced 'tawld') him he should get out in the real world."
"Oh, you do right. You can't learn life at college."

Brid Aggression
Waiting for Tricia outside a public loo after a shoot in Bridlington, camera round my neck, there was a family with about 5 kids lurking. One of the kids was climbing on the roof of the toilet block, another was round the back, screaming at the wall. A third was aggressively kicking a football against the wall of the block, and one kick sent the ball dangerously close to my gear. I was startled, but not as startled as when the crew-cut bulldog wanker who was presumably the father shouted "Fucking ignorant bastard!" at me. I turned around and asked, still surprised, "How exactly am I in the wrong here?"
"I said sorry and you fucking just ignored me!"
"I never heard you." I turned around and started to walk off to wait near the ladies' door for Trish, and from behind me I heard the real reason for his mindless aggression; "You put your hair in a ponytail, you fucking ponce, you think you're summat!"
Two guesses as to where his kids get their mindlessness from.