Hilgrave and his wife, Madame Spume, run a bed and breakfast where nobody who ever checks in checks out again. They are perverted torturers of the soul and body. But when Lou Reads, a vampire, and Bishop Basher, a vampire hunting priest from the Vatican, arrive, they find their days of anal coring and forced knife wound penetration are numbered....Add Inspector Fadghe and PC Albert and Victoria (only one person) from Scotland Yard's secret supernatural goings-on department, and all hell breaks loose!

Written and produced by Ahriman